A dismal night.
Freezing. Raining.
No electricity. No light.
No noise.
It's quiet.
Too quiet.
Just the sound of my thoughts
and the thunderclap.

So I found myself doing
the same thing I do every night
when I can't get to sleep.

I think
(torture myself)
about the past.
About what's happened.
About what I did.
About what I could have done.
About what I should have done.
And depressingly enough,
It always goes back to you.

At one time, we were good friends.
All the fun we had together..

I'll never forget
the way you made me smile and laugh
the way you made me feel wanted
the way you made me feel loved.

I'll never forget
all your weird jokes
your view of life
and all the time we shared.

I'll never forget
your pretty smile
your deep, pretty eyes
your charm could knock anyone down.

I'll never forget
all your comforting hugs
or the time we kissed
these things bring tears to my eyes.

I'll never forget
the day I told you I (thought I) loved you
Exactly 51 weeks ago

And I'll never forget
how you ripped my heart out
and tore it to shreds
and threw it on the floor
and stomped on it till it was almost certainly dead.

I'll never forget
how you made my life misrable
and cause me more pain
than I had ever seen before.

And I hated you for that
I so wanted to hurt you back
but I never got the chance
thank God for that.

And now,
while I'm freezing here in bed
because the power's out
and I can't see what I'm writing
I realized something profound

I realized that I no longer hated you
my emotions had finally calmed down.

And for the first time,
I could do something I couldn't before.

I forgive you.