The Whiners, #11
Featuring John and Dave, two "intelligent" college freshmen trying to make it through till tomorrow...
Tastes like Rubber
May 26, 1997
In today's episode, John has a rather interesting encounter with luck, or the lack of it.
NOTE: These events took place on May 13th, Dave's birthday.
...Continued from Whiners #10...
[a little later that day...around 1:45pm]
Dave walks in with his lunch. John is working on a paper due in three hours.
<Dave> Hey...all classes after two are cancled today.
<John> Really?! Why?
<Dave> The power on campus is messed up. South Campus doesn't even have power right now.
<John> Cool...that means I won't have to turn in this report until Thursday! Where'd you hear this?
<Dave> Besides the fact that I had to find my way up a stairwell to my Gemstone class in complete darkness, someone told me in the dining hall.
<John> hm...I'd like to confirm this, though...
Dave puts his food down and walks out of the room and goes to the bathroom. John turns on the TV flipping through all the stations trying to find the news.
<John (to himself)> doh! It's 2 o'clock...the only thing that's going to be on at this time are soap operas...
John turns on Dave's radio and tunes to the campus radio station. They happen to be in the middle of a music marathon. John gives up, and goes down to the front desk.
[A minute or so later...]
<John (on phone to the front desk)> I heard that classes after two are canceled because of problems with the power...is this correct?
<Front Desk Attendant> Umm...
The FDA asks someone else standing near her. He says that he hasn't heard anything like that, and that the campus probabally wouldn't close for something "as minor as a power problem." This "minor" power problem, however, has left most South Campus without power for a few hours.
John shrugs, and goes back to his room.
[Five minutes later, back in the Whiners' dorm room...]
<Dave> So, what'd the front desk say?
<John> They didn't know a thing about it.
<Dave> heh...how's that report coming?
<John> Slowly. It hasn't changed since 3am.
<Dave> Ha ha!
Just as John goes back to work on his report, some guy walks down the hall, informing people that classes are cancled after 2pm.
<John (to Good News Informant)> I was just down at the front desk, and they said that classes aren't canceled. Theey hadn't heard a thing about it.
<GNI> I heard about it on the news, and when I called the front desk, they confirmed the news report.
<John> That's not what they told me...but then, it's the front desk...why would they know anything?
The GNI walks down the hall informing other people that they don't need to go to class.
<John> Woohoo!! Now I definately don't need to finish this report for a few more days!
<Dave> I wouldn't be so sure of that...check your mail.
John checks his mail. A message from the head of the Honors college has just arrived.
<Email of Doom> "...and most of the Honors professors I contacted said that they would be having class as scheduled, despite the fact that the University has cancelled classes..."
<John> Doh!
<Dave> Ha ha!
John goes back to work on his paper. Three hours later, he prints it out, and goes to class.
[15 minutes later, John walks into class]
<Professor> ...I appreciate it that you came to give me your papers today. Gives me a chance to get a head start on grading. I guess you guys can leave now.
John puts his paper on the pile, and exits, remarking that that's the shortest class he's ever been to. John goes back to the dining hall to get food, and the back to his dorm.
[a few hours later...]
Dave is playing Super Metroid on his Nintendo when a friend of his walks by. Coincidentally (or not), his name is also Dave.
<Dave B.> Hey...great game last night.
Dave walks over to the door.
Dave B. hugs Dave.
<Dave> What was that for?
<Dave B.> You're a huggable guy.
<Dave> Oh. I thought you saw the balloons.
<Dave B.> What balloons?
Dave steps out of the way so Dave B. can see his birthday balloons.
<Dave> It's my birthday.
<Dave B.> Well, happy birthday, then!
John goes back to work on something else and ignores the rest of Dave's conversation.
[later that night]
Scott returns from home.
<John> Hey, Scott!
Scott throws his things into his room and wanders over to John's room.
Before Scott can comment about the balloons taking up the middle of our room, Dave speaks up.
<Dave> Scott, you hungry? Want a balloon? I think you'll like the licorice one.
Dave hands Scott the black balloon. Scott waves his hands "No!"
<Scott> Umm...no thanks....
Scott takes a few steps back.
<Scott> I already ate dinner.
Scott's phone rings. Scott yells "FUCK!" and runs back over to his room.
<John> I hope you weren't expecting much more of a response from Scott...
<Dave> Well, knowing Scott, there was no getting around his saying "FUCK" and rushing back to his room, but I wasn't expecting a phone call to speed the process up.
<John> Betcha he's gonna yell "fuck" again before he hangs that phone up.
<Dave> I don't think --
<Scott> FUCK!
And thus, the eleventh episode of the Whiners ends. Have a good summer!
John is an Electrical Engineering major Honor student who, after agonizing over how to end Whiners #11 for three weeks, is just glad that he doesn't need to write another Whiners episode for three months.
Dave is a Comp Sci major Honors student who has declared himself a lover of all things balloon.
