Five minutes later...

<John> So, Dave, how many times did you get smacked with the polo ball tonight?

<Dave> Well, I got hit once here [points at left shoulder]...once here [points at left shoulder]...twice over here [points at center of chest]...and about fifty times here [points at the middle of his forehead].

<John> They're treating you pretty well, aren't they?

<Dave> Definately.

<John> I suppose it could be worse, though. At least you don't have many scars.

<Dave> The scars from water polo are all internal.

<John> Um...I'll take your word for it.

Dave stands up suddenly.

<Dave> [in deep voice] I must go defacate now.

<John> What?

Dave walks out of the room.

<John> What? Can't you just go take a shit like everyone else?

Dave sticks his head back in the door and ponders for a second.

<Dave> No.

<John> That's what i was afraid of.

Dave walks back in five minutes later...

<John> Dave, you know, I'm getting concerned here...you sure you aren't doing drugs or something?

<Dave> Nope. Just Ibuprofen and excedrin.

<John> Figures. I can see your moodometer swinging wildly back and forth.

<Dave> Yeah, I know. Let me know where it lands, won't you?

<John> I think it's pointing at "mildly insane" right now.

<Dave> That can't be good...

Later that night...

<Dave> Woohoo! Sinbad is on!

<John> Oh boy...I can't wait.

<Dave> Wow...Mave's wears something kinda skimpy at times.

<John> Dave, Mave _IS_ kind of skimpy at times.

<Dave> Good point.

<John> I wonder if the bird still gets higher billing.

The opening credits play.

<Dave> It sure looks like it.

<John> Yup...and it's a good thing too...that bird does better acting.

Dave sniffs.

<John> Dave? Coming down with a cold?

<Dave> No. I just need a sinus vaccuum cleaner. All that crap from the pool's killing my sinuses.

<John> Figures. You know, Dave, I just had a rather interesting thought. You remember the Ambiguously Gay Duo from SNL?

<Dave> Who could forget?

<John> Consider this: a new cartoon basedon the same principle. "The Ambiguously Lesbian Duo," starring Xena and Gabrielle.

Dave's blinks.

<Dave> You know, that might be a good idea...

<John> Oooh...that wasn't a pleasant thought...

<Dave> What?

<John> "The Ambiguously Transexual Duo."

Dave stares wide eyed at John

<Dave> Ok, that's it. How about I become the computer nerd, and you just go around alienating everyone.

<John> I dunno...that just might work for me.

And thus, a much-belated Whiners episode comes to a close, with our heroes trying to figure out just _who_ would star in such a television show.

John is an Electrical Engineering major Honors student with too much free time on his hands.

Dave is a Comp Sci major Honor student whos stereo reports volume in negative numbers. Really.